i was supposed to do hw today. in the end i played with him the whole day!

all my dad can think of is to win 4d/toto. thus, the name is lucky yu wang wang! -.-
its so much more cuter than lovebirds.its a baby one! next time i should take a nicer photo of lucky! the lighting not good lah. -.-

just when i was like, under a heavy rain, no shelters around,
the rain suddenly stops and rainbow comes.
the rainbow is telling not to give up and be brave.

so tired for the past week.
goodnight

i was thinking, if im not injured, i wont be so desperate for money until this extend anymore.
its like a no money no rehab. why issit like its my fault when the insurance is fucking slow, turning me to this fucking hell sucky state.
if i can, obviously i want to go rehab every single day despite the hectic schooling i have.
just because i am not carded, to see the doctor for just a review which is around 15mins, it cost 36 bucks. unlike those carded ppl who can just go in as much as they like and its still free.

cant even get a decent sleep these days since last week due to just how indecisive i am.
i was able to go twice a week.
slowly, once, and the 2nd session i struggled to go, paying out of my own pocket,
now, not even a single session of money he is willing to give.i still cant accept the fact that i am the only child and i wants to go back and hide.

he should have let me stay there, why even bother to get me back and now i am grieving for nth.

i hate this kind of lies. a kind that when i already know the truth but u are trying to twist the fact in front of me using another's person name that i trust.

i was actually surprised with my biodex test and gain back some confidence to play that kind of thing, but disappointed and angry with the answer that is not honest.

too many i should have... its too late.
forgot it and move.just choose a correct person to talk to next time.

3 more days to the 5th month!
re-read the letters that everyone gave me after i injured. haha.cool
studied at chris house... i was feeling tired... maybe due to the lightings. -.-
shopped at amk alone. zzz. not much to see...

so happy that i made a decision, after someone agreeing on what i was thinking.
but its also my fault to agree without thinking through my big brain.
but well, i wont mind that they will be pissed with me or thinks that i am a kind of person who dun mean my words.
i heed reasonable advices.
just wanna do something that is right for myself and my leg.

and just wanna say, i dun mind ppl talking bad behind me. i wont turn back and regret or something... lol!

way to go!

i thought that i didn have a choice.

everything's changing, i had my leg screwed, my sch screwed, family screwed, timing of choice screwed.
form not filled.
still waiting, and thinking carefully. i guess, the best is still for me to stay at where i am, now.

no idea how the hell my dad link the guy who win the 3m bucks from toto then to me, to shoes and kahyee, then to my leg, and to him again. POS
but i was damn happy that he shouted at that bitch. HAHA. make me shuang shuang a moment.
he says that woman too suay alr, cannot buy toto one. buy alrdy also might as well give charity.
seeing her is like making my eyes failing, without seeing her a day, im so happy that i almost fly, too bad i cant.

i hate school, school might hates me too. cos i am a ponner queen, mentioned by a ponner king.LOL.

my knee yo, act complicated yo, cracking ard yo, yoyoyo, piece of shit yo, waste my time yo!hopes to drain yo, yo, yo .

thanks liz for the free movie!Hhaha! its complicated lah.
and of cos shoes for the taxi ride, i will pay back sometime, when i have extra cash..

dont think about the money part too much, but today's rehab is something new, at least.
i realise, 5 months of no training is no joke. just 1 normal drill is enough to make me pant like hell.
doing steps was funny. with jiawei and shalene!HAHAHAA.JOKE.

day by day, its getting nearer, to an unknown line, where maybe somehow i was supposed or even expected to be there.
its like, i am so embarrassed to be so behind time, and yet trying to be on time.
maybe cos not on time, i started to bear around the bush, no idea.
eating lunch alone is best when you dun feel like telling other ppl ur own stuffs and sort it out all by yourself. yes, i had it at the sports complex, with my fav drink, fav food. everything's there, perfect.

my eyelid is so heavy today.i managed to watch a movie during the break time, before another tut starts.
hyper during stats, cos zillions of ppl got an A.

i hope the time crawls together with a snail.

my wish is to restart the year 2009. sometimes its just minor stuffs but it seems that i cant get to take it easy or get it over. why cant i go rehab without worries? why does it have to happen in the first place?
now i am becoming an unreasonable person, blaming this and that, blame my leg, blame myself, blame the timing, blame it , i have no idea what other factors can i blame already.
its like, my injury is considered light and maybe nothing to the outsiders.
i dun like facebook already. cos it makes me like i am so attention seeker kind of thing and i wont want to accept any help anymore because not like my parent cannot afford it.
sometimes i really cursing someone in my hse die or something then have the insurance claim, and wont have to be so upset over such kind of stuffs anymore. but its like damn bad?maybe i am really that bad.

i think singapore society have this kind of person like me is really trash and useless can. i cant study well and not strong physically or maybe emotionally.
just a small freaking injury made me like this. who's testing me like this?
i feel like getting a air ticket, fly back to thai , to my mum, to stay away.

2009 is good and bad.

good like... i know the 19ps, good ti-derella, that small one, that elbow muscles over lap one, the korean ones, the gossipy ones, a shoe that is not nice to wear, a whiny captain, a retarded runner, .... etc etc.... the times with them are of cos nice. all of them never fails to listen to me complaining, or even, repeat my complaints , and nonsense. HAHA. not forgetting nsl, enl and halfway pesta. nsl was a nightmare but great experience, enl was fun & thrilling, halfway pesta was ... sunny? ssc too, nice to know more ppl there!

bad ones are like i hate for who i am, i hate ppl who are nonsense, ridiculous,stereo typing, and whatever, not forgetting that little ligament there just separate like this.
of cos, i promised myself to be stay strong and crap, of cos not forgetting i will be like a coward in 2010, dread the days passing by, to the day i was supposed to be back, yet i am not. i will be late yet i didn want to. complaining about the trainings rather then staring into space whenever i have a chance. having even the subconscious to be so conscious about myself being handicap and people around are reminding me about it instead of dreaming something i used to dream,running around though i am slow, at least i can dream of myself running. i even hates sleeping but i am tired.
pressures knocking the door even before i am back. at the very least, i was a confident person back then? oh well!


goodbye 2009, cant i just stay in between 2009 and 2010 ?
too late though, facing it now.
glad that i passed M&B.a.